


What It Takes

by cordeliadelayne



Category: Poltergeist: The Legacy
Genre: Gen, Introspection, Team, family by choice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-15
Updated: 2016-01-15
Packaged: 2018-05-13 23:46:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5721568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cordeliadelayne/pseuds/cordeliadelayne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick considers just how much the Legacy means to him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What It Takes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LostandAlone22](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LostandAlone22/gifts).



> Written for lostandalone22 as part of the Fall Fandom Free For All and orignally posted to Livejournal in 2008. She requested Nick coming to terms with his upbringing. Set during season four.

Nick Boyle drove. It didn’t matter where he was going, just that he was going there fast. He’d had a hell of a week and all he wanted was a clear road, some loud music and a beer. But his usual haunting spot wasn’t up to much and even he could recognise when he was running away from his problems, so he headed back to the island. Maybe a cold beer in his own kitchen would set him right.

Walking over from the garage he once again felt the sense of belonging that had been so noticeably lacking on the walk up to his childhood home. There he’d been wary, on edge all the time when his father was around, wondering what new test lay in store for him. When his mother was there it was better, because then all he had to think about was protecting her and his own pain didn’t matter.

He opened the door and slipped inside, taking a moment to savour the smell of Rachel and Kat baking in the kitchen, and Alex and Derek talking in the library. This was where he really belonged, he knew that. He knew that they were his family now. But he couldn’t help but feel a twinge of sadness that he’d never experienced this growing up. He slipped off his shoes and left them by the door, then padded over to the kitchen in his socks.

He had to admire the way that Rachel was so determined to bring Kat up in a way that protected her from everything. But he knew, as he suspected Rachel did really, that children couldn’t be protected like that, that too much protection was just as bad as too little. Kat had seen so much in her young life, it was tainted by as much violence as his own, but at least she had a mother that could really protect her, a support system that would always look out for her. That’s why being part of the Legacy was so important to him and so painful. The things he’d seen, the losses he’d experienced, it would take a long time for that ache to leave him.

“Nick!” Kat shouted, running up to him and giving him a hug.

“Hey short stuff,” he teased.

“Mom and I made cupcakes”.

“So I see,” Nick replied, moving over to inspect the rows of cakes cooling on the baking tray. Flour and green icing seemed to be everywhere. He reached out to snag one but failed to dodge quickly enough as Rachel slapped his hand with a wooden spoon.

“Hey!” He mock glared at her. “What was that for?”

“The icing isn’t set on those yet,” Rachel replied, unrepentant. “Have one of these instead.”

Nick eagerly took one of the offered cakes and moaned appreciatively as he bit into it.

“Good?” Alex asked from the doorway, an equally amused Derek standing next to her.

“Try one and see.” Derek and Alex did just that, reacting with similar enthusiasm.

“And what brought on this culinary delight?” Derek asked Kat. The young girl just shrugged and glanced over at her mother before turning her attention back to clearing up some of the mess.

Alex came to Kat’s rescue. “I think it’s a good idea, this kitchen needs someone cooking in it who doesn’t do weird experiments.” She pointedly turned to look at Nick.

“Hey!” he raised his hands in mock defence. “I don’t hear you complaining about my omelettes Miss “Just one more” Moreau.”

Alex laughed and grabbed some beers out of the fridge for her, Derek and Nick. Rachel and Kat stuck with orange juice.

“Did you have a good drive?” Derek asked as he and Nick moved away and sat down in the main living room, the girls too busy gossiping to notice they’d snuck out.

“It was okay,” Nick replied. He took a sip of his beer and leaned back, his eyes sliding shut. “It’s been a long few months, hasn’t it?” His eyes flicked open to see Derek nod before closing them again. “Do you ever wonder if it’s worth it?…The sacrifices we make?”

“Considering the consequences of inaction. No.” Derek paused, unsure what it was that the younger man was really asking. “I have regrets though. Paths I should have walked down, actions I should have taken.”

Nick opened his eyes and pulled his legs up to his chest, making him look even younger than usual. “You can’t change the past,” he muttered, somewhat bitterly. He knew the words; it was the conviction behind them that was missing.

“No, but you can learn to live with it. It’s part of you, what shaped you into the person you are now.”

“You’ve been spending too much time with Rachel.”

Derek sighed. “Nick, you, we, have all had a particularly hard time lately…”

“But what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger?”

“…Something like that.” Derek took a sip of beer then put it to one side; it wasn’t really his drink. “You’ve always been the strong one, even when you were young. I know your mother took a lot of comfort in that after your father died. As do I.”

Nick turned to face him, surprise mixed with incredulity.

“You’re the one the others turn to when I’m not around, the one they’ll turn to when I’m gone.”

Nick frowned. “Not for a very long time.” He hated it when Derek said these things. Having to face the fact that Derek, who always seemed so invincible, would one day leave them made him ache far more than he had at his father’s funeral. For all intents and purposes Derek was the father he should have had and he wasn’t yet ready to accept the idea that they were footsteps he was destined to follow.

Perhaps realising this Derek remained silent; the only sounds now were the crackling of the fire in the fireplace and muted giggles from the kitchen. Nick let his thoughts drift; he was just so _tired_ of it all.

As Nick finished his beer he let the empty bottle slip to the floor, studiously ignoring Derek’s wince as he did so. This was his home too.

Home. None of the members of the Legacy would ever have a cookie cutter home. But they had each other. They had the knowledge that they’d each gladly die to protect their colleagues, friends, family, not to mention countless innocents who stumbled and lost their way in the dark.

His father had been a deeply flawed man. As had his brother. They had each tried in their bull headed ways to do the right thing, or a creative version thereof. But they were family, just as important as his family at the Legacy.

And Derek was right. He may have spent his childhood resenting the Legacy for taking his father away, but it was here that his father had found himself. How much more senseless violence would there have been if his father hadn’t had the Legacy, keeping them apart and pushing them together when the time was right? His mother had done her best but resentments ran deep in Nick. There were too few grudges that he was willing to let go. Too few people he’d forgive for simply being human. But that was something he could change, a promise to himself worth keeping.

He looked up to see Derek staring at him, being judged and found worthy. Then Alex and the others came in, talking and laughing, a family in all but blood.

The violence he’d suffered at the hands of his father, the violence he’d seen and dealt out as a S.E.A.L., the violence they came across every day in their work for the Legacy; this was nothing compared to the love his mother had shown him, the camaraderie he’d felt in the Navy, the sense of belonging he now felt in the Legacy. With this group of people he’d never have associated with if it weren’t for their shared belief in protecting others from the forces of darkness, he’d found a true purpose. A true family.

How could he deny his past or wish it different to how it was, without also denying the good parts? The friendships, the lovers, the fun and laughter.

As he closed his eyes he let the others’ talk wash over him, felt contentment settle in his stomach along with the beer. He was here, where all the roads of his life had taken him; some had been short and some dangerous, but each one was a step closer to understanding his life and how he’d been shaped by forces outside and within. In the final clarity of that moment before sleep claimed him fully, he recognised the threads that bound him from his past, held him firm in the present and would guide him in the future.

He was home.


End file.
